• Teaching Children How to Accept Persons with Disabilities

    Being that I am a fair skinned, red head who grew up on the Gulf Coast of Florida, I find myself frequently visiting the Dermatologist to have spots, “checked”. Here lately I call these my yearly personal donations to science as I have had one after another skin cancer removed. (PSA – Wear your sunscreen!) A few years ago, I had one that left me with a very large scar right on my neckline. It’s faded a lot but when I work out, the make-up wears off and it’s more noticeable. This was the case a few weeks ago teaching a children’s Taekwondo class. I was helping a little girl with her belt and she reached up and touched my neck and asked, “Is that a scar?” I said, “Yes, it is.” She looked for a moment and then gave me a big grin as she rolled up her sleeve.” I have a scar, too!” We both laughed and went on with the lesson. It was a connection moment between myself and a little girl and it got me thinking. I don’t know for sure how her mom or dad would have reacted had they been there when she asked the question, but I do know that often times we as parents overreact to a situation like this. When our children are curious about someone who is different from them, say, with a scar or in a wheelchair, we tend to get embarrassed and say things like, “Don’t stare!” or we pull them away quickly and scold them for being rude. I believe there is a better way to react that will increase “normalizing” those who have a disability that won’t cause children to be afraid and won’t alienate or embarrass the individual. Here are some tips to get you started: Your child says, “What’s wrong with them?” You respond, “There is nothing wrong with them, they are just different.” Lead the child into noticing what about them is the same. Talk about what someone might think is different about them. Explain that everyone has something different about them and everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Because someone’s leg muscles don’t work the same way yours do, doesn’t mean there is something wrong with them. They are simply different. You child says, “Why does he have only one leg?” You respond, “I’m not sure. He seems to be doing great don’t you think?” OR If the situation is right, ask the person if it would be okay for your child to ask a question about their missing leg. This could be very educational for your child and help them see that people with disabilities are just like them in most ways and not someone to be afraid of, shunned, or pitied. On the contrary, they should be accepted and respected just like all people. Use words like, helps instead of can’t. “The wheelchair helps him move around better.” Instead of “He needs a wheelchair because he can’t walk.” Remember, it’s okay that your child is curious. Teach them to be respectful and kind as well. Try not to lead them away from others with obvious physical disabilities. That causes fear and pity in a child for the individual and it is quite isolating to have others avoid you. Teach them to smile and make eye contact with all people. It does wonders for their own confidence, as well as makes those around them feel accepted. Do teach them to ask before helping a handicapped individual. Don’t assume they can’t do things on their own. It’s a great idea to have these conversations around the dinner table or while taking a walk, before an encounter occurs. Teach empathy not sympathy. Most people want to be respected, not pitied. One last thing. Not all disabilities are visible. Autism for instance. Speak with your child about patience when dealing with someone in their class who is on the autism spectrum. Teach them to look out for people who may be struggling and offer to help and be a friend to them. A little courtesy and respect can go a long way in making the lives of all people brighter. Remember to use the same attributes when dealing with those who have a disability. Blessings, Master Amanda Olson Master Amanda Olson is: A Master Martial Artist and Instructor of Taekwondo and Tai Chi. She teaches at her local Academy.. An Author of 2 Books – “Create a Happy and Harmonious Home” and “Parenting Survival Guide” You can find her books on Amazon by following this link. A Public Speaker – Topics include Building Confident Children at Home Helping Teens with Stress Bringing Harmony to Your Home Taking Control of Your Life You can find her on: o YouTube – Master Mom and Olson’s Martial Arts o WJHL TV – Daytime Tri-Cities o Super Talk 92.9 Radio Show o Facebook  Amanda Olson  Olson’s Martial Arts o Websites  Olsonsma.com  Askmastermom.com o Write to her at – Olson’s Martial Arts Academy, INC • 113 Cherry St. #10 Johnson City, TN 37604 o Email Her: amanda@askmastermom.com
  • Master Mom Podcast with Dr. Nathan Justice on Parenting

    In this podcast Master Mom Amanda Olson speaks with a very open and honest local Pediatrician, Dr. Nathan Justice. He has wonderful advice for new parents as he is one himself. He has also has advice for parents of teens from a pediatrician's perspective. Dr. Justice gives a wonderful illustration of how a lesson he learned before finishing school has shaped his life and his practice. Dr. Justice is a man of faith and brings that strength with him to his family life and professional life. Dr. Justice can be reached at justicen@etsu.edu Amanda Olson can be reached at amanda@askmastermom.com The full interview can be viewed here : http://bit.ly/mastermomDrJustice
  • Teaching Your Child Leadership

    Hello Everyone! Master Mom Amanda Olson here. https://www.amazon.com/Amanda-Olson/e/B07TLG3G4F It's a beautiful Sunday here in Johnson, city, Tennessee, and I'm looking forward to getting out and playing in my garden and working in the yard. I've got some the plants that I picked up yesterday to plant. Not that I need any more plants, but it's fun. It's a hobby for me and especially on a beautiful day like today. So, I was going to talk today about a kind of interesting subject to me. And that is that of leadership. Especially teaching leadership to children, teaching leadership to teens. I have been teaching leadership for as long as I can remember, you know, back when I was teaching my martial arts classes more robustly than I do now. One of the things that I realized was especially important was to have the children, whatever lessons they learned, whether it's courtesy, respect, integrity, all the things that we teach, is that they not just know what they mean, but they also are able to show that out in the real world, outside of the, my real martial arts world. That takes confidence and that takes leadership skills. You know, some people are just kind of naturally charismatic and people follow them. They're either funny or they're confident or, you know, they're not intimidated and they just, do their thing. And people follow that energy. They're like, oh, okay, well that's kind of fun. Every time you talk, you make me laugh. Or, when we go hang out or something, you're pretty bold. And so, we get to do extra things that I wouldn't do on my own. That type of leadership happens kind of naturally in some people, but leadership can also be taught. And I know there's some different rules of thought on that, but I believe that you can become a better leader. You can teach people how to become a better leader. And in my reference of leadership, that means that you have confidence to do the things you want to do. You have confidence to choose the right things. Sometimes, there's pressure to do the wrong thing and leadership can be confidence to choose to do the right thing. Also, good leadership skills help you have more opportunity to have control over your life. So, if you have leadership skills and you are joining a club and you want to see this club go in a certain direction, whether it's raising funds for this group, or do more work outside the group, volunteer work to help the community, or whatever you want to do. If you have the leadership skills to lead your group or speak up and lead a section of your group, and you can accomplish the things in your life that you want to accomplish, Whether you're eight years old or 28 or 48, 68, or 108, it's the same skillset. And it really provides you an outlet to do the things you want to do, make the differences in the world that you want to make and enjoy life a little bit more. If you have confidence to speak up and speak your mind, not in a negative way, not bossy or mean way. Just in kind of confident way to live your life in the way that you feel is appropriate for you and being able to step in and help others. Help others using your confidence for people who aren't quite there yet. It's a good way to live. It's a happy way to live. So, teaching leadership is something that I found was very empowering for little kids. They can learn to say, no. They can learn to say, no, I'm not going to join in on picking on this kid. Or I'm not going to try this substance that is bad for my body. Or I'm not going to misbehave. You know they have that confidence because they can say, I'm a leader. I can choose to do the wrong thing, or I can choose to do the right thing. And, I have that power because I am a leader. Of course, my thing is to teach the kids, to use their leadership powers for good. But more importantly, I want to teach people, teach children, teach teens that skill. So, when they are living their lives and growing up into adulthood, they can make decisions that they feel confident with. Things that they want to do, not follow the crowd. Confidence gives them that moment to say, “Hmm, you know, I see this in the world, and I'd like to do that about it. I might need to take a different direction than what the rest of the world is doing.” Interestingly, I was talking about this with a group of folks and one of the people in there said something that just shocked me, just blew me away. They said, “I don't want my child to learn leadership because they'll use it against me. And they won't do what I say.” And I was like, wow, I have never thought of it that way before. So, I had to stop and take a step back. And I started doing a little research on that. And just kind of looking into, you know, is that just that one person's opinion or do other people have this opinion? And I found that teaching your kid to be a leader does not have the same positive connotation to every person in the world. There were many other parents that they've already got a strong willed seven-year-old and the last thing they want to do is to teach them how to stand up for themselves. Yeah. I can see where that point of view would come from, and why they would think leadership would be something that's just going make their child even more strong-willed, and more obstinate, and more powerful, to not do what I tell them to do. Well, I'd like to counter that thought by saying: “If your child learns leadership skills then, they also will learn when the right time is to use them. They will learn the difference in being bratty, disobedient, disrespectful, wanting to get their own way and how to be obedient, friendly, helpful, kind, and respectful. There's a big difference. And I think that parents, you've got to teach your children leadership, because the opposite of leadership is followership. And that is not what we want. Do we want them to listen to us and follow our directions? Yes. Teaching them leadership skills is not going to make them worse at listening to you, it's going to make them better at that because they're going to understand that when they show good personal leadership and teamwork in the family, they get more respect back. When they're better leaders, they're happier. When they're better leaders, they get more opportunity. They get more freedoms because they're showing responsibility. When they're just straight up, strong-willed, disobedient, rude, bratty; they get less responsibility. They get less freedoms. They get more tension and more chaos in the home. And to be honest with you, the kids really don't want that. They don't really like that edgy feeling or to be miserable. They want exactly what you want, which is a happy and harmonious home. Less chaos, more freedom, more relaxation when you get home. More responsibility is not a bad thing. More responsibility means that you can have more freedom and that you're on the right track. Teaching your children leadership is teaching them to be responsible. It's teaching them to be responsible with their actions and with their words and with their thoughts. See, leader would understand that to stop their foot and say, “No, I'm not doing that mom.” or to slam the door and say, “I hate you!” that, that, is not appropriate behavior. A leader would understand how to ask politely for something or be patient. Demanding you get your own way or pout when things don’t go your way is not leadership. That behavior is selfishness and brashness and rude and disrespectful. So, teaching a child to be a leader is not teaching them to be more strong-willed towards you. Teaching them to be a leader, helps them see their responsibility. They're part of the team, the family team. That working together is the way to be happy and to get what you want. Not yelling, screaming, and pouting. So how do you teach leadership? Well, first of all, you have to define it. So, you have to tell a child or teen what makes a leader. Ask them to think of some leaders in their life and let them come up with people who they look up too or who they think, well, this person must be a leader. You know, one of the first ones they say is the President. I try to get them to think a little bit closer to their life, like maybe a class president or maybe a president of the chess club, or maybe a leader in their church or somebody, a friend in their school who they think is a leader or a teacher at school. So, getting them to think about who are the people in your life you would call a leader? Now that they have a reference ask: What does leadership look like? What does a leader do? Talk to them about what kind of leader they want to be. They may tell you that they want to have people do what they tell them to do. You know, I want to be the boss! However, being the boss does not make you the leader. It makes you the boss. You can be the boss and somebody under you can be the leader. Right. That's very, very true. So, I help them understand that, getting people to do what you want them to do, to tell them what to do, make them do what you want them to do is not leadership. That’s bossy! Parents, you might be the boss of your household, but the child might be the leader. We want to correct that. You need to be the leader. And in being the leader, you teach your child how to be a leader. You teach them that being the boss is not leadership. Being the boss is selfish. Nobody wants to be told what to do. Nobody wants you to pick the game every time. If everybody has to do what you want to do all the time, you're not going to have a whole lot of friends. So, leadership is about, hey guys, what do we all want to do today? What do we all want to play today? What should we do first? A leader helps people make decisions. They don't just boss everybody around and tell them what to do. And I think that that's where sometimes parents don’t think they want their child to learn leadership skills because maybe they've had that “boss” in their life that wasn’t a leader, just a demanding person. Bossy people are not leaders. Leaders help people get along. Leaders help teams accomplish things. Leaders have confidence to make good choices. That's why you want your child to have leadership skills. I mean, do you want, your child be the one that does what everybody else is doing? Because either, they don't have confidence, or they don't know what they want? Or would you rather your child be the person that the other kids go to? You want your kid to be the one that the other kids look up to for positive reason. Teaching your child leadership is going to make them a more compassionate, confident, happy, bold, and courageous person in a positive way. It's going to keep them from being a follower. Teaching your child leadership is going to keep them from following the crowd and following the crowd can be an extremely dangerous thing. At seven years old, it may not be that dangerous. But at 17 it can be extremely dangerous. And if you think that they outgrow lacking confidence or they're magically turned into leaders, when they turn 16 and get a car, I can guarantee you that is not going to happen. They have to begin learning it at the very, very beginning of their life. I have this philosophy as teacher of leadership and as a martial arts instructor, my responsibility is to help students become a more independent, happy, and competent person. That's the way I look at my job and I want my students to have more independence, more confidence, more happiness. True happiness so that they can get out of life, everything they want, and they can give to life everything it needs. And by that, I mean, the people around them, the community around them. We are elevated to our best self when we are doing the things we love. When we are living the life, we want to live. Then we are so much more able to give. Don't you want that for your child? Don't you want them to be able to do everything that they dream of and be in a place where they can give more than they receive? That's leadership. Learning to lead yourself, lead others, and then share the knowledge you have. Whether it’s education, money, time, or friendship. When you're in a good place, you can help others be in a good place that is leadership. So, to parents out there who are concerned that teaching leadership to your child is going to make them meaner to you or more difficult to parent; please delve into that a little bit more and understand the difference between a strong-willed attitude and confident attitude. If you teach them responsibility and leadership and how to effectively use their strong will for good, you can help your child be a leader and be confident without being obnoxious. And this of course will lead to a happier child and more harmonious home! Thanks! – Master Mom Amanda Olson
  • Helping Kids who are being Bullied- Ask Master Mom Amanda Olson

    Amanda speaks with Amy Lyn about helping our elementary age children with bullying issues. The most important thing to tell your kids is that if you are being bullied, it's not their fault and to ask a grown-up or friend for help. Intervention is key to stopping bullying. Olson's Martial Arts Academy, INC 423.926.9161 olsonsma.com https://www.facebook.com/amanda.olson.587
  • Empowering our Kids to Handle being Bullied – Master Mom Amanda Olson

    In this Episode Amanda talks about helping children deal with a Bully. In her latest book, "Parenting Survival Guide" Amanda goes into detail on the subject as well as defining what a bully is, how to look for warning signs and what to do if your child is the bully. Click on the link to order her book on Amazon or Download on your Kindle https://www.amazon.com/Amanda-Olson/e/B07TLG3G4F From the Olson Family We would first like to say, “Welcome!” It is our goal to provide the best martial arts training in a safe and encouraging environment. As a family we have devoted our lives to not only training the physical aspects of martial arts to thousands of people but the mental and emotional aspects, as well. Our goal is to help each student achieve Black Belt and Beyond. The reason for this is that we know from over 40 years of experience teaching martial arts that when a student experiences the awarding of a Black Belt, they soar with confidence. What it Takes to become a Martial Arts Black Belt It takes commitment, perseverance, goal setting and a strong work ethic to earn that belt. Even at a young age people know that a black belt in martial arts means something important. It shows you don’t quit; you don’t give up. That you have what it takes! Once you’ve done that, you know you can do anything you set your mind to: like getting into a great college, starting a career, making the team, anything you want. We love to hear the success stories of our students after they have gone off to college and started lives and families of their own. However, we are not surprised by their success. We already know they have what it takes to live their dream. Character Development Another goal we have as a family is to support families and help reinforce the qualities of character you desire for your child to have. Our proven character development and leadership program includes lessons from making eye contact to handling conflict. Also, speaking up and showing confidence ,as well as, standing strong for what you believe is right. Our desire is to train black belts who are not only highly skilled in the art of self-defense but who are kind, compassionate, confident citizens of our communities. People who have a strong work ethic and will show “Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverance, Self-Control and Respect”, everywhere they go. Let us Partner with You! http://askmastermom.com amanda@askmastermom.com Because of this, we want to partner with you, the parents and families, in helping give your child a strong foundation in values, to be able to stand up for themselves and others, to make good choices, and to live a healthy lifestyle. Please don’t hesitate to speak with us if there is ever a point where we can help with question or concerns from motivation to troubles with bullying. We are committed to helping each of our students live a happier, safer and more confident life. Sincerely, Glenn, Amanda, Keith and Katie https://olsonsma.com
  • Martial Arts Helps with ADHD

    One mom's story of how Martial Arts training at Olson's Martial Arts Academy in Johnson City, TN has helped her daughter with her ADHD and focusing skills. Olson's Martial Arts Academy is known in it's community for helping children and families build confidence and self-control in students of all ages and abilities. We specialize in working with various needs such as ADHD, ADD, Autism, Focus issues, physical coordination and self-discipline. We teach courtesy and respect towards others as well as how to set and reach goals. Learn more tips for families at Amanda Olson's YouTube Channel - Ask Master Mom https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg0PhL4JbT4sN8Yac-ygz9w
  • Prevent Your Teen from Making Poor Choices – Master Mom Amanda Olson

    When Your Teen is Making Poor Choices Whether you have a 3-year-old or a 13-year-old, planning ahead for teenage mistakes can help you re-route them from making dangerous choices to making more positive choices. I have never subscribed to the notion that “teens will be teens” or that being rebellious or disrespectful is “normal” for this special age group. Yes, some things are unique to teens. They try new things, experiment in new ways, and test the boundaries as they try to figure out who they are apart from “the family”. What we should not accept as normal, however, is a disrespectful attitude, engaging in risky behavior, or direct disobedience to those in authority. Setting these boundaries early and quickly letting them know what is and is not appropriate behavior is key to a fun and harmonious life with your teen. The best time to talk with your teen about the choices they may face as they engage more with others is “before” a crisis arises. Have an open discussion about handling different situations. Here a few topics for some great discussions with your teen. How would you handle it if your friends wanted to do something like shoplift or drink alcohol? What will you do if you are with friends and someone starts to do drugs? How do you think you could avoid these situations in the first place? What about relationships? What personal boundaries should you set if things progress physically? How will you say “No” or “I’m not comfortable with this.”? How should you handle it if you have a friend who is engaging in risky behavior and you are worried for them? Have you ever been bullied? Have you ever bullied someone? How about driving or riding in the car with another teen? What is the plan if you are in a group and want to leave because you are uncomfortable? Trust me, these discussions will be in their minds when they are faced with making decisions on their own. They may not follow your advice, but they just might realize they should’ve listened to you, even if they never actually admit it. Experience is often the best teacher and try as we might, they will make choices that lead to negative experiences. Be prepared to be supportive and help them through when they do mess up. Basically, help them learn to “adult”. There are many other topics that can be specific to your family to talk about than the ones listed above. Try to have a little sit down once a week and take one topic at a time. Try to lead your teen into coming up with the correct answers and solutions on their own, based on your own family’s values. Do your best not to judge and don’t be surprised when they make the wrong choice, whether in the discussion or real life. Be a good listener who can be relied upon for support and help when they find themselves in trouble. The more you show patience and support, the more they will trust you. This is not to say there won’t be consequences but love and compassion can lead to better behavior in the future. One thing I know for sure, if you aren’t the one talking to them about life, someone else is. Be the person they know they can go to for help and solutions. Hoping for a Happy and Harmonious Home for each of you! Master Mom – Amanda Olson Master Amanda Olson is: • A Master Martial Artist and Instructor of Taekwondo and Tai Chi. o She teaches at her local Academy and Virtually online. • An Author of 2 Books – “Create a Happy and Harmonious Home” and “Parenting Survival Guide” o You can find her books on Amazon by following this link. • A Public Speaker – Topics include o Building Confident Children at Home o Helping Teens with Stress o Bringing Harmony to Your Home o Taking Control of Your Life Websites Olsonsma.com Askmastermom.com o Write to her at – Olson’s Martial Arts Academy, INC • 113 Cherry St. #10 Johnson City, TN 37604 o Email her at: amanda@askmastermom.com
  • Kids! Ask Master Mom – Sibling Conflict

    Kids Ask Master Mom: How do I get my brother to stop hitting me? Amanda: Hey everybody, Master mom Amanda Olson here, and I'm about to go on WJHL News Channel 11 daytime tri-cities for their talk show, which is always a lot of fun. Today kicks off the kids ask master mom series, and their question, or well, it is there because there's more than one that asks this question. It is a question that's as old as time, all right. So how do I get my brother to stop hitting me? Now that was, I have a little box here at the Olson's martial arts, where you can anonymously put in your questions, or you can let me respond to you personally if you like. And I've started letting the kids well, they kind of started doing out on their own, it was really kind of cute. I started getting some funny questions, and then some serious ones, and this is one of those. So I got this in my box; how do you get your brother to stop hitting you? Well, there's a lot that goes into that, because you need some background. Is this a big brother? Is this a little brother? Is this something that's happening every day? Is it happening when no one else is watching? Is it happening at school? Is it just every once in a while? It's just really kind of, a lot of extra information needs to be put in to really get to the correct solution. However, kids, I'm going to give you some advice today on what to do if you find yourself in this situation. Now it could be a cousin or a best friend or something like that, that's just taking things a little too far, and they think it's fun. And it's not for you, because you're the one that's getting hurt or getting hit. I remember one time playing in a swimming pool, and somebody thought it was a lot of fun dunking me underwater. They were having a great time, but I was getting to where I couldn't catch my breath, and I was swallowing water, and I was getting afraid. And they thought it was fun, but I did not think it was fun. And so I actually had to use my strong voice when I got the opportunity, to just say stop, you are really hurting me, and you're making me upset. And I was really surprised at the reaction of the person because they were kind of like surprised. Surprised that what they were doing wasn't fun for me, and they were really sorry. So sometimes it's just a matter of using your strong voice and speaking out like that, and that would be one of my first things for you to do, kids. If somebody is hitting you or especially a brother, somebody that you're going to be living with for a while. Is to first let them know that this is really bothering you, and it really hurts, and you really wish they would stop doing it. If you keep crying or you fight back, and you run and scream and tell mom and dad, and all that, it's not really something's going to stop for you. It's something that actually might even spur your brother to do it more because he thinks it's funny, all right. He thinks it's funny that you get upset, and you're giving him the reaction that he wants. And if you can find it in you to not get crying and hitting back and getting, acting out like that. And you can stop, and you can say, you are really hurting me, this is bothering me, please stop and see if that works, that would be my first thing. Now sometimes that doesn't work, sometimes it's not about them having fun, sometimes they really just kind of enjoy being mean or somebody's being mean to them, and so they're taking it out on you, that's another level. But here, kids again, this is for the kids. What I want you to do if you've told them to stop and they don't, don't go crying to your mom. Don't go running and screaming. Billy's hitting me; he won't stop. Because then we all know what kind of happens, and this is what we parents do. One kid comes in and starts yelling and telling on the other one, and then we just put them both in time out, or they both get in trouble. Or both kids are at fault, and it really doesn't solve the situation. Now your brother's mad at you because you tattled, and now he's in trouble. So it kind of can make the situation worse. So what I want you to do, what I want you to do is if there's something that's really bothering you, all right. Is to go to your parent or your grandparent or whoever's taking care of you, and say I need to have a really important conversation with you, something is really bothering me. And I guarantee you, kids, if you go to an adult like that, they're going to stop, and they're going to listen. So let me repeat that mom, I have something very important I need to talk to you about, it's really bothering me. Now I don't know a mom who wouldn't stop what they're doing and see about what is so important that you came to her so respectfully and adult-like and didn't run in screaming and crying and complaining and yelling. They're going to stop and listen to you, all right? So if this is something kids that's going on and on, and you really do want it to stop, you're going to need a little extra help, all right? Especially if you're the little one, okay. You can't always just fight back because if they're bigger and stronger than you, you're kind of a little bit stuck, you're a little out of luck, okay? All right. And really fighting back, sometimes it's appropriate to stand up for yourself with your body. But we always want to start standing up for ourselves with our mind and with our voice and our confidence first. If that doesn't work, then like I said, go talk to one of your parents. So when you finally get to have that conversation with them, what I want you to do is tell them that you're not tattletaling, it's different. You're saying, my brother, sometimes we roughhouse and play, and it gets a little out of hand, and he hits me. Or when you're not looking, he'll hit me and think it's funny, and it actually really hurts, and I've asked him to stop, and he won't stop. Can you help me? And that is what I want you to try to do next. Because then your parents will understand that this is something that's not just kids goofing off, but this is something that's really bothering you, and they really need to step in and do something about it. All right, we're fixing to start the show, so hang on. Let's see how this goes, and I'll be right back. Amy: Well, it's always a pleasure to talk with our Master Mom Amanda Olson from Olson's martial arts. She's always got some great advice and encouragement for parents and kids. And today, she's answering a question from the kids, focusing on some of the kid's questions today I understand Amanda. Amanda: Yes. A funny thing when I started the ask master mom, I have a little box here at the academy, for parents to kind of anonymously ask questions if they like. And the kids started putting questions in there, and some of them are really fun, and we'll do some of those. But some of them are very serious, and today is kind of one of those tough questions. What do you do when your brother is hitting you? So that'll be hopefully helpful to kids and parents. Amy: Absolutely. And that's one of those things, Amanda; I don't think that ever goes away. I mean that's, I can remember being young, and sometimes the roles may be reversed. What do you do if your sister is hitting you? But you always have those sibling conflicts. Amanda: Yes. It's something that's definitely not going to end, it's something that just about anyone who has a sibling has dealt with. And even if you don't, even if you're an only child, you have cousins or best friends and your age group, and those kind of conflicts happen. So it's not just with siblings, but something that all kids could kind of learn how to handle. Amy: So what's your advice? How do you begin to answer that because it seems like such a simple question, you tell them to stop? But it's so much more complicated than that. Amanda: Yes. Typically, when that's happening, it's a sibling or a friend. Like I said, that's bigger than you and stronger than you. So it does get a little tricky. And one of the things that happen is the kid that's getting hit or whatever; things just get a little out of hand, they escalate from kind of playful to a little bit too much contact. They get upset, and they cry, and then that just kind of spurs the other kid on. Oh wow, I'm having an effect here. And you can scream and yell and say stop it, quit hitting me and run to your parents and say Billy's hitting me again. That kind of action doesn't help. It's what you're feeling, and you're a little kid, and that's how you act, but you can actually do better than just kind of telling the parents he's hitting me, because what happens? Then the parents are like, and I'm guilty of the same thing, all right, both of you quit fighting, you're both in timeout, or you're both in trouble. And that's not really what was happening; they weren't both fighting, you were getting picked on, you were getting hurt. So you can talk to the kids and kids. This is for you too. Tell the person that's hitting you in a very strong, confident voice as much as you can. Please stop hitting me; it really hurts; I don't like it. And you might be surprised that the sibling didn't realize that they were really getting under your skin that much. They were just kind of having fun. Kids really don't, I work in martial arts with kids; they really don't know their own strength. And they may not have known that it was really hurting you. So that would be my first advice. But like you said, that doesn't always work just to tell them to stop. But I would try that first, and you might be surprised that your sibling is really sorry that they hurt you. But the next approach, and this is really important, is to go to your parent or your grandparent, whoever's taking care of you. And when it's not happening, says mom, there's something very important I need to talk to you about, something that's really bothering me. So, kids, this is where you get to go to your parent almost like an adult, and instead of crying and screaming and telling on your brother, go and say, mom, there's something very important I need to talk to you about. And I guarantee you as a mom, your mom is going to stop and listen, they'll want to hear you came to them very adult-like, and this must be serious, and they want to stop and hear what you have to say. Amy: Man, that is very powerful. Because when you think about it, the first thing they do when they run and tell. As a parent, you're automatically defensive, and you're mad at both of them, and we just need to stop. But to actually have that conversation that I feel like these are true feelings, I would imagine any parent would want to sit them both down and have a bigger conversation. Amanda: Yes. I mean, as a mom, two of my kids are two and a half years apart, so there was all kinds of he's hitting me, she's taking my stuff. And you're in the middle of doing something, you're like guys, stop it, quit bickering. But it might be something that is actually kind of ongoing and needs your attention. And it's hard for kids to know that they can do that, that they can go and talk about something very serious. They think that sometimes we treat them too much like kids, and then that's how they feel like they have to act. So if we kind of tells our kids, it's okay to act like mature and say, hey, I want to have a conversation with you, mom, I need to talk to you. And the same thing, that will help them be able to talk to their teachers at school when something's going on. And then, of course, later in life too, have that confidence that if I go and talk to somebody, chances are they're going to really listen instead of me just kind of barking; I don't like this. Amy: Yes. And I absolutely love that you use that word confidence, it's just about getting them to be able to understand and communicate, and boy, that's something they'll take with them an entire lifetime. Amanda: Yes, that's my hope. If they can get that at a young age, they will enjoy that life skill for the rest of their life. Amy: All right. As always, great information Amanda, thank you so much for taking the time to talk with us this morning. Amanda: Absolutely, good to see you. Amy: Good to see you. Hey, if you would like to ask other questions or you would like to learn more about Olson's martial arts academy, you can always visit them there on Cherry Street and John. Amanda: All right. So that's a little bit of the advice. I do have a little extra for you kids, okay. So one of the things that when a brother or a cousin or whoever friend is hitting you, they get something from that. If you continue to spend time with that person, and they're not stopping, they may continue to do it because you're present, you're giving them that opportunity. So what I want you to think about is when it starts happening, to leave the situation if you can. Go to your room, shut the door. Calmly go to your parents, go outside and play, but don't sit there and yell and expect that it's going to stop just because you want it to. All right, sometimes you have to pull yourself out of a situation in order to make it stop. You have to get out of the way, all right? And if this person hitting you is in the way, that's what's happening, you need to get out of there, all right? And without you there to pick on or hit or whatever it is they're doing that's bugging you, they're going to get bored. And you can tell them; I am not going to spend time with you, I am not going to play with you. I am not going to have fun with you if you're going to hit me like that. And a lot of times, your brother, or cousin, like I said, will not want that. They want to have somebody there with them; they want to have somebody to play with. And if you take that away, that can be your power. I am not playing with you because you are acting mean. You are hitting me, and it's not fun, and I'm not doing it. Next time you want to play, if you're mean to me, I'm going to stop playing again. And these are things that you can have control over. Maybe you're not big enough or strong enough to fight back, and again like I said, that's not always the first thing we want to do. But if you do have the power to calmly talk to your parents about it, you do have that. If you go yelling and screaming, mom is not really going to hear that, okay? It's going to aggravate her, all right. You can talk to your parents; you can stand up for yourself and say you're really hurting me, stop doing it, and you can get out of the situation, all right. You can stop being with your brother; you can go to another room. And just don't get upset, and say I'm not playing with you because you are hurting me. And let's see if some things don't change, all right? But do remember it's okay to talk to a parent, and it's very okay to talk to a teacher if something is happening at school because they can help you. But you do want to do it the right way, and the right way is to do it like a grown-up would, all right. Miss so-and-so, I need to talk to you about something very important, and you do that, and you're going to get their attention, and they're going to want to hear what you have to say, all right? Okay, kids, hopefully, that is helpful. Remember, if it's still going on, if you need some help, talk to your family, talk to your teachers at school, and they can help you, all right? Because we don't want you getting hit by your brother, trust me, all right? None of us like getting picked on, all right? And we want to do what we can to help you through that. Alright, kids have a great day, Master Mom; I'll see you in class. From the Olson Family We would first like to say, “Welcome!” It is our goal to provide the best martial arts training in a safe and encouraging environment. As a family we have devoted our lives to not only training the physical aspects of martial arts to thousands of people but the mental and emotional aspects, as well. Our goal is to help each student achieve Black Belt and Beyond. The reason for this is that we know from over 40 years of experience teaching martial arts that when a student experiences the awarding of a Black Belt, they soar with confidence. What it Takes to become a Martial Arts Black Belt It takes commitment, perseverance, goal setting and a strong work ethic to earn that belt. Even at a young age people know that a black belt in martial arts means something important. It shows you don’t quit; you don’t give up. That you have what it takes! Once you’ve done that, you know you can do anything you set your mind to: like getting into a great college, starting a career, making the team, anything you want. We love to hear the success stories of our students after they have gone off to college and started lives and families of their own. However, we are not surprised by their success. We already know they have what it takes to live their dream. Character Development Another goal we have as a family is to support families and help reinforce the qualities of character you desire for your child to have. Our proven character development and leadership program includes lessons from making eye contact to handling conflict. Also, speaking up and showing confidence ,as well as, standing strong for what you believe is right. Our desire is to train black belts who are not only highly skilled in the art of self-defense but who are kind, compassionate, confident citizens of our communities. People who have a strong work ethic and will show “Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverance, Self-Control and Respect”, everywhere they go. Let us Partner with You! http://askmastermom.com amanda@askmastermom.com Because of this, we want to partner with you, the parents and families, in helping give your child a strong foundation in values, to be able to stand up for themselves and others, to make good choices, and to live a healthy lifestyle. Please don’t hesitate to speak with us if there is ever a point where we can help with question or concerns from motivation to troubles with bullying. We are committed to helping each of our students live a happier, safer and more confident life. Sincerely, Glenn, Amanda, Keith and Katie https://olsonsma.com
  • Children Need Stability During the Pandemic

    My family and I work daily with so many children and their families. We see every day how the pandemic and the disruptions of routine have caused stress and anxiety. Often children can't express themselves verbally and act out or demonstrate behavioral changes uncharacteristic of their normal actions. They can certainly absorb the energy we adults give off so it is very important for us to maintain a consistent and positive attitude when interacting with the kids in our lives. We, at Olson's, have tried to be an "Island of Stability" during this time and will continue to do so. Whether in person or on zoom, we are here for you. Master Mom-Amanda Olson and family. (This is a good article with helpful resources for families. Please feel free to share) amanda@askmastermom.com olsonsma.com frontierhealth.com 423-926-9161
  • When Your Child is Being Shy – Master Mom Amanda Olson

    It can be very frustrating when you child freezes up, won't join the group or hides behind your leg when you are trying to introduce them to someone new. Fight the frustration and take a breath. Be patient and help your child slowly gain the confidence they need by being supportive. Getting upset with them will not help them feel more comfortable and may embarrass them even further making participation even less likely. If it embarrasses you, simply say to the other people involved. "This is something we are working on, thank you for your patience." This will help you feel better as well as let your child know you are there to help them. The other adults will understand. This is something EVERY parent has been through. You are not the only one and with patience and time, you can help your child overcome. When you have time alone with your child, let them know that being afraid to participate or to say hello to someone is not a behavior you want them to get used too. Help make an action plan for the next time so they can be prepared and know exactly how they are to act and the steps, even the words, they are are to do and say. 90% of the time it is the fear of the unknown. Help them to know better what to expect and how to handle themselves when things happen that they don't expect. If your child, on the other hand, knows no stranger and is the first to volunteer for everything, help them learn how to spot someone who may be having a hard time joining in and teach them to be a friend. Teach them how to go up to that person and introduce themselves. Teach them not to just include others but to look for those who NEED including. Their confidence is their super power and they should use it to make someone's day brighter. Master Mom - Amanda Olson Master Amanda Olson is: • A Master Martial Artist and Instructor of Taekwondo and Tai Chi. o She teaches at her local Academy and Virtually online. • An Author of 2 Books – “Create a Happy and Harmonious Home” and “Parenting Survival Guide” o You can find her books on Amazon by following this link. • A Public Speaker – Topics include o Building Confident Children at Home o Helping Teens with Stress o Bringing Harmony to Your Home o Taking Control of Your Life • You can find her on: o YouTube – Master Mom and Olson’s Martial Arts o WJHL TV – Daytime Tri-Cities o Super Talk 92.9 Radio Show o Facebook  Amanda Olson  Olson’s Martial Arts  Master Amanda’s Virtual Tai Chi o Websites  Olsonsma.com  Askmastermom.com o Write to her at – Olson’s Martial Arts Academy, INC • 113 Cherry St. #10 Johnson City, TN 37604 o Email Her: amanda@askmastermom.com